Bewilder is a monthly newsletter featuring outdoor adventures in California by Yvonne Leow. Our journey began with Bezzi
, our adorable, badass yeti, who's mission is to inspire more humans to fall in love with the wild.
We belong outdoors. Nature is where we can hear our thoughts, face our fears, and love ourselves to the fullest.
We are not machines. Our bodies are capable of taking us far, our minds are malleable, and our sense of home is right underneath our skin.
We act with intention. Our community thrives on trust, humility, and presence. We’re rewriting our story everyday.
Nature isn't an antidote. It’s an environment where we can discover our potential, unleash our wilder side, and explore the mysteries of life together.
For years, I used to govern my life with checkboxes. I poured myself into journalism, jumping from one job to the next, but I gradually felt the weight of apathy and listlessness sink into my bones. What was I chasing? Status? Wealth? After graduation, I had lived in six different cities in four years. Nothing felt fulfilling; every decision was a distraction.
“I was the girl with a plan, but without a purpose.”
That all changed in 2016. It was the year my dad told me he was diagnosed with colon cancer and that I had a two-year-old half sister. The whiplash of despair and betrayal brought me to my knees. I had always prided myself on being a strong, ambitious woman, but my father’s indiscretions left me questioning the meaning of love and family. My reality became unmoored.
“I was the girl with a plan, but without a purpose.”
I began spending time in nature. I backpacked in California’s Eastern Sierra, hiked the John Muir Trail, and climbed Aconcagua, the tallest mountain outside of the Himalayas.
Every adventure featured a series of minor disasters, but through it all, I learned how to remain calm, resourceful, and resilient. I was a different person because of my experiences not despite them.
It has taken me years to feel confident in nature and even longer to realize that I’m worth more than my job title or the number of emails I write in a day. Spending time outside has taught me that life isn’t a series of lists. It’s a sandbox where we can grow, explore, imagine, and create.
Life is bewildering, but I’m no longer lost. Because in nature, we are small and powerful, grand and insignificant, and tucked between our layers of contradiction, our heart and our humanity, exists the truth.
Yvonne Leow, CEO and Founder
